Why, why, why can’t he hold this back as he usually does? The worst part is, the awful emotion is threatening to spill over even more, like storm clouds gathering and darkening, ready to burst with inevitable rain. Kain squeezes his eyes tight as Rydia’s hand touches him, her motions soft and gentle… He’s never really seen her like that before, admittedly. He’s distanced himself for a number of reasons, never quite sure if she even much liked him… So her comfort is a pleasant surprise.
This is so unlike him. He doesn’t like it at all, letting down his guard, becoming so… so vulnerable. He’d never intended to let anyone know that beneath the armor and coldness is someone who’s hurting far more than he lets on. They’re not supposed to know about that side of him. No one is.
“Nothing is wrong. It’s the same as ever, so nothing at all is wrong....” Kain’s voice is still strained, and he doesn’t sound like he believes anything he’s saying. She said it was ok to cry, but he’s struggling hard to avoid something so humiliating. The only problem is, he’s not so sure he can hold back for much longer. At least her touch is still soothing, and Kain stays where he is for just a moment. Then, taking a deep, shaky breath, he moves to sit up and turn toward her. He looks as dejected as he’s sounded all along. It’s unmistakable in his eyes. But he refuses to cry. It won’t happen, it won’t.
“...I’ve failed.”
Unfortunately, when he says these words, it opens the floodgates once and for all. He can’t do a thing to stop it now, and it’s too late. The tears start streaming down his face, and within moments, he’s sobbing openly. All of the darkness and negativity and despair that he’s hidden for all of this time comes spilling out at last.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2016-04-17 03:21 am (UTC)This is so unlike him. He doesn’t like it at all, letting down his guard, becoming so… so vulnerable. He’d never intended to let anyone know that beneath the armor and coldness is someone who’s hurting far more than he lets on. They’re not supposed to know about that side of him. No one is.
“Nothing is wrong. It’s the same as ever, so nothing at all is wrong....” Kain’s voice is still strained, and he doesn’t sound like he believes anything he’s saying. She said it was ok to cry, but he’s struggling hard to avoid something so humiliating. The only problem is, he’s not so sure he can hold back for much longer. At least her touch is still soothing, and Kain stays where he is for just a moment. Then, taking a deep, shaky breath, he moves to sit up and turn toward her. He looks as dejected as he’s sounded all along. It’s unmistakable in his eyes. But he refuses to cry. It won’t happen, it won’t.
“...I’ve failed.”
Unfortunately, when he says these words, it opens the floodgates once and for all. He can’t do a thing to stop it now, and it’s too late. The tears start streaming down his face, and within moments, he’s sobbing openly. All of the darkness and negativity and despair that he’s hidden for all of this time comes spilling out at last.